The other day I was with some friends and one of them gave the other a business card from their mutual acquaintance. The card was beautiful and when my friends said as much, a petulant voice within me protested, “What about my cards?! They’re pretty too!!”
It’s stupid, right? The idea that I’m diminished in any way when someone gives a woman I’ve never met a compliment is ridiculous. And over something as insignificant as business cards of all things!
The part of me that’s reasonable, mature, and has her moral compass aligned to heaven was mortified at the appearance of such a petty sentiment and wasted no time in shaming myself for even thinking such a thing.
As I was reflecting on the situation a little later, ruminating on how embarrassed I was at myself for being so immature and rather distressed at the persistence of the ‘what about me’ feeling, I remembered my commitment to loving all aspects of my being. Then I realized that the problem wasn’t the little girl who wants to be seen for how special she is, it was the part who would shame her for feeling that way.
As soon as I tuned into the ‘what about me’ I found my little six year old self, and immediately all the self judgment and shame transformed into love and compassion. Of course the neglected girl in me feels the way she feels. I offered her all the love I would give to my own children in that situation and -boom!- the entire thing shifted. I could physically feel the tension leave my body, replaced with a lightness and calm.
This is the essence of alchemy: when something surfaces that’s ugly, resist the impulse to suppress it or make it wrong. Instead, offer it love and compassion which will take you to the root where the ugly is then transformed, healed, and integrated. If I can do it, so can you!
by April b.
I'm the human behind Mind Altering Reality, and this is where you'll find things I've written about me, about life, and about my practice.